“Are You Focusing on the Heat or Your Prayers?”: Supporting Mothers Through Matrescence with Ecospiritual Practices
How shifting the focus from the discomfort of matrescence to the prayer of becoming can transform the way we support mothers through this profound journey.
Have you ever been in a moment of discomfort so intense, it felt like it could swallow you whole? I remember a moment from a recent ceremony. The steam filled the room, and everything went black. I could barely breathe, my body overwhelmed with claustrophobia and panic. My immediate reaction was to numb myself—shutting down, as I had learned to do through years of trauma. But then, before the second round, one of the elders said something that shifted everything for me: “You are not here to suffer. Leave at any time.”
“But,” she asked, “Are you focusing on the heat or your prayers?”
This question struck me in a way that has become a trail-marker in my life. In the face of physical discomfort, I was being invited to attune to something deeper than the heat. The prayer, the intention, the purpose of transformation. It was an invitation to shift my focus from the discomfort to the vision of who I am becoming. And through the next rounds—that only got hotter—I chose to stay and was connected to my body, allowing the ceremony to carry me through the discomfort.
This insight resonates profoundly in the work we do with mothers, especially in matrescence, a time of profound transformation and growth. Like adolescence, matrescence is inevitable, and with it comes a natural discomfort. The transition itself cannot be avoided, and sometimes in this political climate may not be chosen, but how we move through it, how we hold the discomfort, can make all the difference. The question is: are we, as maternal helping professionals, prepared with the tools to help mothers focus on the prayer of who they are becoming during matrescence?
Conventional Approaches to Maternal Distress: A Critique of Disconnection
In maternal mental health, a common approach to distress is symptom reduction through disconnection: helping mothers “regulate” by tricking their nervous systems, numbing their emotions, and focusing on returning them to an idealized state of calm or safety. But when the focus is solely on alleviating symptoms, such as panic, anxiety, or sadness, many mothers are led to believe that these feelings are wrong or must be avoided, rather than explored and understood. This emphasis on symptom reduction often undermines their ability to engage deeply with the transition at hand.
As maternal helping professionals, are we prepared with a theoretical framework to help mothers shift their attention from the “heat” of their symptoms to the prayer of who they are becoming? The discomfort of matrescence is not something to be bypassed but something to be held and integrated into the process of transformation. When we attune to that prayer—the vision of transformation, growth, and self-realization—we empower mothers to move through the discomfort of matrescence with grace, resilience, and clarity. In this work, we must be open to supporting not just the alleviation of symptoms, but the fuller vision of who a mother is becoming in the process.
Reconnecting with the Earth: Eco-Spirituality as a Pathway to Rebirth
When supporting mothers, we must also recognize the importance of attuning to a spiritual framework, one that honors their connection to the earth, to nature, and to the cycles of life and death. Eco-spiritual practices are a path to reconnecting with the innate spirituality that is often hidden beneath the layers of day-to-day survival. This connection is not foreign; it is already within us, a part of our birthright. And when viewed through an animist lens, these practices offer a way for mothers to reawaken their relationship with nature, listening to its wisdom and understanding the deep spiritual lessons it offers.
An animist approach teaches that everything in nature—trees, rivers, rocks, and even the air we breathe—has life and spirit. Eco-spiritual practices rooted in this understanding can help mothers reconnect to their own spiritual core, guiding them through matrescence with a deeper sense of purpose. By tuning into the natural world, mothers can rediscover their spiritual practices and the prayerful connection to the divine and the earth that may have been disconnected over time.
Supporting Mothers Through Matrescence: A Prayerful Approach
As mothers move through matrescence, they are not just changing on a physical level, they are undergoing a deep spiritual transformation. We can support them by focusing not just on reducing symptoms, but on connecting them with their prayer, their deeper vision for themselves and their families. Rather than pushing away discomfort or numbing distress, we can encourage mothers to look inward and connect with the prayer of who they are becoming.
Eco-spiritual practices offer mothers a space to engage with this prayer. These practices include attuning to nature’s rhythms, participating in rituals that honor their connection to the earth, and reconnecting with their lineage. For many mothers, these practices may already be part of their daily life, whether through family traditions, personal rituals, or quiet moments of connection with the land. In these moments, eco-spirituality becomes a way to validate and honor what is already alive within them.
Eco-Spiritual Practices to Support Matrescence
It is crucial to approach eco-spiritual practices with respect for the diverse cultural traditions and unique paths that each individual walks. For mothers, exploring their lineage and motherline practices can offer a grounding and transformative experience. Rather than introducing unfamiliar rituals, we can encourage mothers to honor the practices already woven into their lives—whether through family traditions, ancestral prayers, or rituals passed down through generations.
Eco-spirituality is an inherent part of who we are—a birthright that resides within each of us. If the research on maternal spirituality is accurate, many mothers already embody eco-spiritual beliefs in some form, even if these practices aren’t always recognized or supported within conventional frameworks. These eco-spiritual practices, often unspoken but alive within the fabric of daily life, can align with the deeper prayer of who mothers are becoming during matrescence. For some, this might include lighting candles as a gesture of devotion or offering gratitude to the elements that nurture and sustain them. Others may find meaning in ritualizing their daily routines—acknowledging the sacred in acts like preparing meals, caring for children, or tending to the home.
By acknowledging and ritualizing what is already present, mothers can reclaim and honor their spiritual practices in ways that are deeply personal and connected to their unique journey. This process not only validates their experiences but also nurtures the growth and transformation they are undergoing during this pivotal time of life.
A Call to Action: The Power of Prayer in Matrescence
As we support mothers through matrescence, we must remember that this transition is a sacred process, one that calls for attention to both the physical and spiritual realms. By focusing on the prayer of who mothers are becoming, we can help them move through the discomfort and challenges of transformation with resilience and grace.
In our work, we must ensure that we have the frameworks to support mothers in this journey, including eco-spiritual practices that reconnect them with their innate spirituality. As practitioners, we can provide a space where mothers can explore their inner prayer, reconnect with their ancestral wisdom, and reattune to the natural rhythms of life.
If you’re ready to deepen your understanding of how nature-based therapies and eco-spiritual practices can support mothers during matrescence, consider exploring the Maternal Ecopsychology Certification® Program. This program is designed for helping professionals who wish to integrate nature-based healing practices into their work, offering a structured framework to guide you in supporting mothers with deeper spiritual, emotional, and ecological attunement.
By aligning yourself with the rhythms of nature and deepening your own understanding of ecospirituality, you will not only enhance your practice but also help mothers reconnect with their innate strength and the transformational prayer of their journey.